Self Discoveries Part 2 – Gift or Curse


06 March 2017 – Rooms of Dr Dennis, Phychiatrist

Cat: Dr Dennis….please don’t have me committed for what you about to hear….as much as I love *J2….I don’t think the food is that great….the sandwiches they use to hand out in the morning on my day visits…were very dry…..

Dr Dennis: Well Catherine….I don’t think you’ll survive one night at* J2…Its very noisy… noise and commotion does not sit well with you.

When a stranger tells me to look up what an empath or *HSP is….I find myself delving into a world that’s borderline science fiction… I decided a visit to good ole Dr Dennis (my person of sense and sensibility) would be a good idea.

So this is how he explains it to me:

Dr Dennis: A normal person walks in the road…her brain only takes in what she wants to absorb, she has a choice. She can let go of information that is not important to her. But your brain is wired differently….you walk in the road….and absorb and feel EVERYTHING around you. The faintest smell, sound, emotion, the tiniest detail. You don’t have a choice, your brain is like sponge…..and it stores all this information….Most of the time….you don’t even know this information is up there….When you sleep…you are most vulnerable….and that’s the time your brain frantically tries to process all this info. That is why you sleep, but still exhausted in the morning….your brain can not switch off….so no Catherine….you don’t have psychic powers… The scientific term is sensory processing sensitivity

Cat:  So the girl in PnP didn’t just lie to me about not having mini milk tarts at the back….I Imagined it right?

Dr Dennis: No, you didn’t ….you’ve interacted with her before …and your brain stored her usual tone of voice, mannerisms and facial expression…like with every single person you encounter or that’s in your life.  Whether it’s only 1 second or every day. That is how detailed the information is you take in…..It’s virtually impossible for people to hide their real emotions from you.  This doesn’t even begin to explain your own emotions… sadness, confusion, hurt, disappointment, anger…..multiply that by 100 than that of a ‘normal’ person….sometimes this overwhelming feeling is that bad….you literally feel like disappearing….hence your little night time trips to the ER over the years.

Cat: Very funny Dr Dennis….So how do I fix this? Do we get *Dr Shepherd to rewire the situation?

Dr Dennis: ( smiles….he obviously watch grey’s anatomy) You can’t…your were born like this…a happy inquisitive child….but dreadfully moody and ‘shell’ like you call it …at times…I can only help you manage your sleep….but that is why Dr Kajieker at J2 sent you for occupational therapy and not psychotherapy….to teach you coping mechanisms. And if you really think about it….you’ve already naturally created some coping mechanisms yourself over the years…some of which may seem quirky to people.

Cat: Like obsessively going to bed at 8pm…its kills people when they hear that…lol….walking around with earphones with the same song on repeat for weeks…not willingly subjecting myself to negative information I can’t control like Facebook, the news or newspapers…etc. etc.

Dr Dennis: Exactly…

Growing up as a child…whenever I cried….*Delia’s famous last word…”Why are you crying, would you like me to give you something to cry about?” ….so naturally as an adult…when I cried…there just had to be a good reason for it right? So over the years I latched on to just about anything to justify the uncontrollable tears …Like my dog that ran away 10 years ago….geez…get over it already….but not for one second did I ever think the tears and emotions….is not always about me….but everything to do with who and what was around me.

Dr Dennis: Catherine, only 20% of the world’s population has this trait on the level you have it….that’s why random strangers in the mall gravitate towards you and tell you their problems. It’s a gift…

Cat: More like a bloody curse 😦

So much info on the web regarding this, but perhaps read the following article:

*J2 – psychiatric department at Grooteschuur hospital

* Delia – AKA my mother

*HSP – Higly Sensitive Person



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